Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Jump Around and fall right down.

I think that certain priorities are askew in the song "Jump Around" by House of Pain. A request is made for someone engaging Everlast in a rap battle to bring a shotgun with him or her. I'm pretty sure that a shotgun at that kind of close proximity would do far more damage than anyone's rhyming skills.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Novocaine for the soul.

A gigantic beard is handy in catching drool when you come back from the dentist and can't feel half of your face.

Let's go for supersaturation!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Back to front.

My days are spent staring at spreadsheets on a computer screen. When I come home I bury myself in a book, video game or television. There are far too many screens in my life.

Reading Rainbow.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Robert Johnson

I'm not 100% certain, but I am reasonably sure that no one has ever sold their soul for a tuna melt, especially if it was made with Duke's mayonnaise.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Making a living.

Work is for people who don't have family money. Family money is for assholes.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Wedding Reception

A word to the wise: Copies of The Human Centipede are not appropriate party favors for guests at your wedding reception.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Earworm: The Reason

I had some dental work done today. Nothing major, but since I have never had a cavity before, two fillings and a crown were less than fun. On the bright side, a Ben Folds Five concert was playing on the television while the procedure was performed. So why do I have "The Reason" by Hoobastank stuck in my head? It just adds insult to injury.

The Novocain has worn off. My jaw hurts. This sucks.