Friday, December 31, 2010

Earworm: Lean Back

Apparently yesterday's Soulja Boy post ushered in a new trend of dance songs for this blog. While I can't do many of them, I can handle "Lean Back" by Terror Squad. I love the chorus too. Pull up your pants, Fat Joe. Pull up your pants.

Of course, having Girl Talk's mashup of "Lean Back" with Spacehog as the last song I heard before going to work didn't hurt either. I'll save Spacehog for another day though. They're responsible for another of the best fake-Bowie songs ever.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Earworm: Crank That (Soulja Boy)

It's not a secret that I can't dance. While I do have rhythm, it mostly involves nodding my head in time with whatever music is playing. Either that or jumping up and down in place. I try to avoid doing that too much though, given the fact that I'm a pretty big guy with terrible balance and can do some considerable damage without really trying.
The lack of dance skills kept me from learning the "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" dance. I'm pretty sure that I came close to dislocating a shoulder attempting to slide three feet to the right. It doesn't sound hard, but neither does the electric slide. I'm not good at weddings.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Earworm: A Whole New World

My thoughts have turned to the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast lately for some reason. Each time, I start singing the opening lines of "A Whole New World." It's a great song, one that is absolutely perfect to accompany the new-found love between...

...Except, shit. That's Aladdin. Every Disney song I try to think of right now turns into Aladdin. I'm picturing Mary Poppins singing it to Simba as Flounder and Pete's Dragon fly off into the night.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Earworm: Silver Shamrock

In a further effort to get Christmas music out of my head, I watched Halloween III: Season of the Witch yesterday. It got the job done. Now I have the "Silver Shamrock" theme running through my head on a constant loop.

Upon my first viewing in the mid-1990s, I thought that the only Halloween entry to not feature Michael Myers was a worthless pile of stupidity that wasn't worth the film it was printed on. It has since become one of my favorite B-movies. I now choose to treat it as if it were an extended episode of Tales from the Darkside. It holds up better that way.

Try. Just try to think of anything but the "Silver Shamrock" after watching the video. Your mind bridging the gap to "London Bridge Is Falling Down" or "London Bridge" by Fergie doesn't count.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Earworm: Silver and Cold

Christmas is officially over, and I am officially working my ass off to rid my brain of all Christmas music. "Silver and Gold" started running through my head. Fine. I'll beat it into submission with "Silver and Cold" by AFI. That'll show the season who's boss. Suck it, holiday season. I'll go sulk in the corner now.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Earworm: Christmas in the U.S.A.

I don't know the actual title of today's earworm, but it's from Saturday Night Live. Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kittan and Tracy Morgan deliver an unforgettable performance of what has become a Christmas classic over the past decade. I forget about it every year, but then the SNL highlights reel comes on TV. I start hoping, and soon it's the insanity of what I call "Christmas in the U.S.A."

I used to only care about Chris Kattan shaking his head during the song, but every year I find something new to appreciate. This year it's the random animal sounds coming from Jimmy Fallon's keyboard. I don't get it all, but some things are just too awesome to define.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Earworm: Frosty the Snowman

Do you know what the sad thing is? As much as I have been able to avoid Christmas music this season, I'm pretty much guaranteed to have it stuck in my head until February. That isn't fair. Don't think that I'll be taking it gracefully though. I'm all for Christmas in July, but I'll be fighting Christmas until Valentine's Day every step of the way.

Today's earworm is "Frosty the Snowman." In both the song and the cartoon, Frosty smokes a pipe. You would think that he would turn yellow quickly between being peed on by random dogs and the tar staining, but he stays white through and through. I do like that he shouts "Happy birthday!" every time he comes to life. That's the way to take the day by the balls, right there. Grasp it and twist. That's right, grasp and twist. Snow balls. See what I did there? I haven't even had anything to drink yet.

The Jimmy Durante version is a classic, but my personal favorite rendition of "Frosty the Snowman" is the one from the Brady Bunch. It was sung in character by the actress who played Cindy on the show. The pacing of the song is terrible, like no one had time for anything but one take. None of the kids match up at all in the later verses. Still, you haven't had your heart broken until you've heard a little girl with a lisp singing "thumpity-thump-thump" as a melting ice monster fades into the sunset.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Earworm: Wonderful Christmastime

I knew that this moment was coming. I have been fighting it all season long, but there is no helping it. "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney has bored its way so far into my skull that I would rather put my head into a vice grip and crank it until my skull splits open and the sweet release of silence comes over me. Or just punch myself in the testicles really hard as a distraction.

Seriously, it's the worst Christmas song ever made. I would rather listen to Celine Dion than that bullshit. I respect the Beatles and even enjoy some Wings stuff, but "Wonderful Christmastime" ensures that Paul McCartney will receive a level of Hell all for himself. The cons outweigh the pros every time.

Amazon doesn't have a direct link to download the song all by itself. Count your blessings.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Earworm: Pretty Paper

The Christmas songs are creeping in! There is really only one Christmas song that I hate more than all others, but "Pretty Paper" isn't it. Willie Nelson can do no wrong, aside from apparently going through airport security. I know, right? I'm so timely.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Earworm: Reading Rainbow

Theme song! Theme song!

I think a new version of Reading Rainbow is in the works. I hope that they don't hip-hopify the theme song. The original is awesome.

Wow, I haven't heard this in years, but it still makes me want to camp out in the library. Books are the coolest, but you don't have to take my word for it.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Earworm: Circle

I'm in a bad mood. The world can suck it.

Whenever this happens, I always get "Circle" by Edie Brickell and New Bohemians stuck in my head.

Well, that and the words "Fuck it bucket." I don't quite understand what that means, but I like it. All I know is that we had a bucket at an old job that had "Fuck it" scrawled on the side. That bucket was my best friend.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Earworm: When Worlds Collide

I have been listening to the new My Chemical Romance album like crazy over the past few weeks to the point where I know it like the back of my hand. That hasn't happened in a while. The iPod has destroyed my appreciatiation for an album as a single, cohesive work.

Out of the entire album, "Planetary (GO!)" really stands out the most to me. It has a very similar chorus to "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000. I enjoyed them around the turn of the century. Rob Zombie's little brother was like an aggro version of Seth Green in Can't Hardly Wait.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Earworm: Fly Me to the Moon

I'm stuck without a song today. Try as I might, I can't get anything stuck in my head. Nothing is working. Wait, wait, there's something. It's "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra. I have no idea where that came from, but I'll take it.

I remember that Duets album that Sinatra released in the mid-1990s. I wore that thing out, in its big fabric box. None of the duets really do it for me anymore, but it was pretty cool around the holidays. Still, the originals can't be topped.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Earworm: Mockingbird

Someone at work was singing "Mockingbird" all night long.

I saw Dumb and Dumberer before I saw Dumb and Dumber. Consider your world rocked.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Earworm: Paranoid Android

I used to love, love, love Radiohead. Their first album had some good songs that I enjoyed quite a bit, but then came their one-two punch of The Bends and OK Computer. Those are two of my favorite albums ever recorded.

Perhaps it was because I was starting to listen to different sounds, but I really didn't care for anything that came after that. Kid A, Amnesiac and Hail to the Thief bored me. They seemed to be finally making a return to form with 2007's In Rainbows, but I was more excited about the marketing than the album itself. Upon downloading my copy and pressing play, I was utterly underwhelmed. The music was okay, and I certainly enjoyed it more than anything that had come out in the previous ten years, but it just seemed unfinished.

Flash forward three years, and I'm reading an article on about Easter eggs hidden in albums. I knew about the hidden booklet under the Kid A CD tray, but the second Radiohead entry really took me by surprise. It turns out that the songs of In Rainbows are meant to be played alternating with tracks from OK Computer. I immediately fired up iTunes and created a playlist. In Rainbows still doesn't stand up as a singular album for me, but holy crap. Suddenly the mix changes completely, creating a monster of an album and one of the greatest things that I have ever heard. Neither album will ever sound the same again.

Oh yeah, today's earworm. Let's go with "Paranoid Android." That was one of my favorites from OK Computer. I especially love the "rain down on me" section towards the end of the song.

I'm pretty sure that I will actively listen to nothing but 01 and 10 mix of OK Computer and In Rainbows for the rest of the year. You should two. There are a solid two weeks to discover one of the greatest things that has ever been recorded. Your homework has been assigned. Get on it.

Embedding of the "Paranoid Android" has been disabled, so here's a link to the official YouTube entry. Enjoy.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Earworm: Carol of the Bells

The season is catching up with me. There are less than two weeks left until I don't have to hear Christmas music at all anymore, and I'm getting it stuck in my head.

Today's earworm is "Carol of the Bells" by Mykola Leontovych. It is one of my favorite Christmas songs in the history of the medium. There is a quiet desperation in the song that speaks volumes to my holiday sensibilities. I will forever associate it with being cold and alone, walking around uptown Minneapolis in the middle of the night with my headphones on and watching the snow fall through the light of the streetlamps.

I forgot that the song has lyrics. I much prefer the instrumental version.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Earworm: Our House/Jingle Bells

I've been on a mash-up kick lately, having worn out the mp3s of the new Girl Talk album and playing the hell out of DJ Hero. My wrists are sore from the game, and my ears have finally begun enjoying the Girl Talk album despite my initial disappointment. One of my favorite parts? The use of "Our House" by Madness.

Last night I saw a Verizon ad that mashed-up "Our House" with "Jingle Bells." I have happily managed to avoid holiday music for the most part this season, but it was kind of awesome.

I used to be more interested in commercials than actual programming. It's nice to see that some old habits still die hard.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Earworm: Back in Time

I'm a big fan of the Back to the Future movies and was spending my afternoon not watching the movie, but making a case for the Blu-ray edition of the trilogy. The studio's packaging is amongst some of the worst that I have ever seen. I also hate that it comes with three single-use discs to get digital copies of the films onto my iPod. The iTunes store is right there. There is no need to waste materials on a physical disc that will never be used again, if at all.

So..."Back in Time" by Huey Lewis and the News. Movie-theme songs are the coolest.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Earworm: Like a G6

I was in the car briefly yesterday without an iPod and had to choose my poison based on the three radio stations programmed in to the car stereo. The pickings were the worst imaginable: Nickelback, Miley Cyrus or Dave Matthews. That's the trifecta of shitty musicians, right there.

I flipped around the channels until the pop station stopped playing Miley Cyrus. "Like a G6" by Far East Movement came on in its place. I've heard bits and pieces of it in passing before, but this was the first time I had heard it in its entirety. I think I found a new level of my own personal Hell. There is absolutely no artistic merit to it whatsoever. I would rather have a razor blade inserted into my ear and transform it into a pencil sharpener, filling my skull with sawdust until it started coming out of every available orifice than hear it again. Unfortunately, that's just not likely to happen this season. I really need to stop listening to the radio again or learn how to use the OFF button.

If you haven't heard the song, I assume no liability of the dumbing down of your unborn children upon pressing PLAY.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Earworm: You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

I guess it's time to get in the holiday spirit, but Christmas songs aren't really my forte. I can handle them for a short while, but more than 15 minutes or so has me wanting to stuff my ears with mistletoe. I don't know how poisonous that stuff is when inserted into the ear canal, but I would really rather not find out.

I can handle The Grinch Who Stole Christmas a whole lot more than most though. The book and cartoons are absolute classics. Dr. Seuss could do no wrong. It's only in the live-action versions that I truly cringe. My wife loves the Jim Carey version. I never want to see it again.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Earworm: Pizazz! (Gonna Give It to Ya!)

Have you ever been in loooooooooove?

Oh, "Pizazz," how I've missed you. Your website may have been removed from the interwebs, but I will forever be just a few clicks away from becoming happy, no matter how foul my mood.

For the uninitiated, get ready to thank me/hit me with whatever you have lying nearby. You will either want to burn your computer and/or phone, or embrace it with open arms. I was one of the few who could not get enough of your electronic bleeps and bloops.

The Pikachu hat is simply magical.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Earworm: Uncle Fucker

As desensitized as I am to violence, vulgarity and gore, sometimes something comes flying so far out of left field that even I find it shocking. This is how I felt about "Uncle Fucker, from the South Park movie the first time I saw it in the theater. The show was still fresh at that point, and I ate up every single minute. When the movie was released, I went on opening day. I expected to be amused, but went in with low expectations due to being well-versed in being let down by film versions of popular television shows.

I certainly wasn't expecting "Uncle Fucker" in the first few minutes of the movie, and literally fell out of my theater seat from laughter. That's the only time that a movie had made me lose it completely. The floor was really sticky.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Earworm: Limelight

Yesterday marked a monumental occasion. I was flipping around the channels and ended up on a Rush concert. Normally that would be enough to make me change to something, anything else, as I generally have an incredibly low tolerance for Geddy Lee and Co. This time, however, I couldn't look away.

My wife still had a touch of sanity left in her. She wrenched the remote from my clutches and changed the station, but not before I ended up with "Limelight" stuck in my head. It could be worse. It could have been Yes instead. I'll take what I can get.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Earworm: Let It Be

I'm not much of a Beatles fan. I appreciate the music, and think they're incredibly important, but I would generally rather listen to the Rolling stones any day of the week.

There is an insane video making the rounds through the interwebs that features 1.9 million random celebrities singing "Let It Be" for about 20 minutes straight. Apparently it's for some Norwegian television show, but I still don't get it. Still, it was enough to get the song stuck in my head, so you're welcome.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Earworm: In the Hall of the Mountain King

When I was a kid, I had a Texas Instruments computer that had terrible cartridge-based games which aped popular counterparts. Two of my favorites were Munch Man and T.I. Invaders, but my favorite was a hide-and-seek game called Hunt the Wumpus. I am unaware of a real counterpart, but Hunt the Wumpus was the shit. In the game, I took on the role of a cave explorer who moved blindly from room to room in something like Minesweeper and Pitfall combined. It made no sense, and the Wumpus itself was the stuff of legends, looking like a BASIC version of some sort of Lovecraftian deity. I rarely made it far enough to defeat the game, but I played it enough to remember one thing. The theme song was a digitized rendition of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Edvard Grieg. It is music like this that underscores my dreams. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Earworm: Tomorrow People

I spent yesterday with Green Day running though my head, fully expecting to be writing about how much I have come to hate them today. At some point they were replaced by "Tomorrow People" by Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers. That's a nice change of pace.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Earworm: Come Clean

What? Why? Why is this happening to me?

At some point yesterday I found myself humming a melody that I couldn't quite place. It was pretty simple, and I was sure that it was just another crappy pop song. I was right. It was "Come Clean" by Hilary Duff. I have no idea how I know this song. I can't remember hearing it at all, ever, but I don't control the gods of the earworm.

The song tells a story of rainfall and something else through terrible, tween-directed lyrics. I don't care about the something else, given that there currently appears to be a leak inside one of my walls in my bathroom. Being an adult sucks, even when the foreshadowing becomes obvious. That isn't a good comparison at all. Screw it. I don't care today.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Earworm: I Want to Know What Love Is

Even though it was released in 1984, when I was eight years old, Foreigner's "I Want to Know What Love Is" will constantly remind me of prom. Wait, I never went to my prom. I'm assuming that I sat at home and watched Evil Dead or something.

Apparently Mariah Carey covered this song at some point. I don't think that I have heard her rendition, but even if I did, I'm pretty sure that I would have worked my ass off to block out the experience. The Foreigner original is a classic. I don't particularly want to tarnish that.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Earworm: The Toy Parade

Huh. The Leave It to Beaver theme song had a name, and it wasn't "The Leave It to Beaver Theme song." Wikipedia tells me that it's called "The Toy Parade," by David Kahn, Melvyn Leonard, and Mort Greene. I don't know anything else by them, and the ad at the top of Wikipedia that I assume is begging me for money is making me feel guilty for researching this month.

The weird thing is that I couldn't figure out what song was running through my head for the past few days. I had to hum it to someone at work, and then lost several points from my geek-cred. I'm losing it, I tells ya.